Saturday, 11 February 2012

I'm thinking of writing...........

An updated version of the Kama Sutra, a version aimed at those of us suffering from general decrepitude.
The Minder has back problems, from many years of being a roofer & carrying tiles up ladders his back muscles are so strong the pull his spine out of alignment, or so he was told by the chiropractor he sees occasionally, he has a series of exercises he does to keep himself mobile & if all else fails he lays flat on his back for a few hours. Of course laying flat on is back in bed gets boring & being in bed he likes company, when I keep him company one thing leads to another (well we are all for a bit of free entertainment). That's when the problem starts, he has to stay flat on his back & I can only bend one knee. Getting into position, any position, takes a lot of effort & a lot of groaning, this leg will only do this, this leg can only go there, you get the picture, obviously all the effort is worthwhile, but bloody hell, we could do with a crane sometimes.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

:-) I can totally relate to this -arthritic joints I have bah humbug

Pat

frugal freesia said...

LOL Hester :)

keth said...

i know your crane comment was meant in jest, but... why not? Your Minder seems fairly handy around the house: rig a sort of height-adjustable bar hanging from the ceiling that will take your weight, and then you can use it to help you in shifting into the correct position, and perhaps even in taking some weight from your dodgy knee. Just a thought. Could even be a market in it. I'm sure you're not the only couple out there where the spirit and the um.... flesh is willing but the joints aren't!

Hardup Hester said...

Brilliant idea Keth, I'll suggest it to him

kathy said...

Oh Hester my ribs are aching laughing, I too know how you feel getting close to sixty. Or should I say sexty, we should just put our thinking caps on for ways and means!!

Anne said...

Another fabulous post that has had me laughing out loud!

Jane and Chris said...

There are 'cranes' available for people with physical difficulties...google it...you'll find something.
Jane x

fostermummy said...

you've won an award - pop on over to my blog to receive it! xxx

Wannabe Sybil said...

I'd buy it! WS x

Saphy said...

yes I have just laughed out loud, for real! An ordinary sling would be no good as he would not be flat on his back, would have to be a winch and pulley system.

What a wonderful world blogland is. I have in the space of 10 minutes, commented on...photography, quilting, cooking, parenting, bric a brac, vintage sheets and now sex!
thanks for making me laugh.

Jan said...

This post is so funny, and I can totally relate to all of it!

Gill - That British Woman said...

very funny......

bbarna said...

This is very true, and somewhat funny. My husband was a crane operator before he retired. "Crane operators do it with a Boom!!"

Little Terraced House said...

I am sitting here giggling my head off, I can SO relate to this post :-) I wish I had the suppleness of my twenties combined with what I know now !!!!

SDG31000 said...

You can always go to a Fetish Fair. There is normally something like this on sale...with optional cuffs and chains. Just make sure it's attached to a joist or three.
*Goes off in search of my halo which was last seen around one ankle*